ASV Chapter 81

Qin Kaiyi felt like he was going crazy. 

Since that day, his mental state had become quite poor. Although that voice that sounded in his mind that day did not reappear, Qin Kaiyi could hardly forget those poisonous words.

Kill Shen Feixiao, kill him… then you can go back.

What on earth should he do? The unsolvable problem before him sunk Qin Kaiyi’s mind into dangerous conditions. 

“Shixiong, won’t you eat more?” Looking at the mostly untouched food on the table, Shen Feixiao’s brow finally wrinkled: “You already haven’t eaten for a few days.”

“En.” Qin Kaiyi absent-mindedly responded, seeming to have not heard what Shen Feixiao said. 

“…Is your body uncomfortable?” It had been two months since the day when the Gu was given. Shen Feixiao saw that Qin Kaiyi gradually became more and more haggard, and he felt as if he didn’t know where to start. 

“En, have a bit of a headache.” Qin Kaiyi glanced at Shen Feixiao without expression, and then stopped talking.

“…” Shen Feixiao didn’t know how to comfort Qin Kaiyi, because he clearly understood what problem troubled Qin Kaiyi. After a moment of silence, he said, “Drink some porridge. Not eating like this, your body will collapse.”

Qin Kaiyi ignored Shen Feixiao. He felt as if his head was like a pot of boiled water. Aside from leaving this world, he didn’t have any other thoughts. 

Seeing Qin Kaiyi ignoring him, Shen Feixiao didn’t force the issue. He looked at Qin Kaiyi becoming more thin and pallid by the day, and his heart was not shaken at all–how would it be? The person whose heart softened first would be consigned to eternal damnation. 

Laying on the bed, Qin Kaiyi stared at Shen Feixiao for a long time, so long that he saw a strange illusion and blurted out: “Shen Feixiao, do you love me very much?”

“…” Shen Feixiao stilled upon hearing this, seemingly not expecting Qin Kaiyi to ask this question. He paused for two seconds and answered Qin Kaiyi’s question: “Shixiong hopes that I love you?”

“If you really love me, kill me.” Qin Kaiyi’s entire person was foolish; he didn’t realize that he was saying such universally shocking words: “Shen Feixiao, if you really love me… Just kill me.”

When Shen Feixiao heard this sentence, his expression immediately twisted. The hand he hung at his side curled into a tight fist, and his lips pursed into a line. That appearance made it seem as if he wanted to fiercely beat Qin Kaiyi up. 

But in the end he refrained and exhaled a little. Shen Feixiao smiled almost helplessly: “Shixiong, if it must be like this… I would rather not love you.”

“Oh.” After getting Shen Feixiao’s answer, Qin Kaiyi stopped talking. He buried his head in his blankets and did not want to talk to Shen Feixiao again.

Qin Kaiyi’s childish behavior and language made Shen Feixiao’s eyes dim. He had put the Rain-Soaked Bell on Qin Kaiyi’s wrist. It stood to reason that no outside influences could affect Qin Kaiyi’s thoughts…

But what was this current situation?

Of course, Shen Feixiao could never know… that there was also a mental illness in this world called depression.

It was reasonable to say that Qin Kaiyi’s incoherent, abrupt, brainless, and incomparably strange temper made it unlikely for him to have such a sophisticated illness, but unfortunately after he was done by Shen Feixiao and shut in a room… meeting with such circumstances, anyone with human feelings would end up in a terrible state. 

More’s the pity that Shen Feixiao didn’t have such excellent medical accomplishments. He looked at Qin Kaiyi’s lifeless appearance and felt uncomfortable, but he couldn’t find a solution for a while. Looking at the present state of affairs, he could guess that the only way to make Qin Kaiyi happy would be to kill him. 

“You leave ba, I want to be alone.” Qin Kaiyi’s tone was depressed, and he shrunk into the blankets.

“…” Shen Feixiao got up and left without saying anything. He knew that there was no hurry at this time. Moreover, Qin Kaiyi had to make a choice. Shen Feixiao was afraid that he would need more time. 

Hearing the sound of Shen Feixiao leaving, Qin Kaiyi’s head came out of the blankets. His white long hair spread out on the bed, coupled with his bleak expression, showed a distressing frailty. 

“…Ah, it couldn’t be that I’ll spend the rest of my life like this.” Qin Kaiyi started his daily routine of talking to himself again: “…If it goes on like this… I might as well… die.”

Those suffering from severe depression would not only be in low spirits, but would also be world weary and have suicidal tendencies. 

“… How long has it been since I last saw you, making you become like this?” A familiar voice suddenly sounded in Qin Kaiyi’s ear. Qin Kaiyi paused in a momentary daze, but felt little interest and closed his eyes–maybe it was his own auditory hallucination.

“Hey, Qin Shi, are you deaf?” The person who spoke saw Qin Kaiyi not responding, and helplessly said: “Fancy Yan Gu, that guy, specially went to find me, but you react like this?”

“Can you not speak?” Qin Kaiyi blocked his ears anxiously: “If you don’t speak, will you die?!”

“…” Someone was speechless.

“No way, I say, have you really been imprisoned into stupidity by Shen Feixiao?” The quilt that Qin Kaiyi used to cover his face was pulled off, and Wei He, who appeared in Qin Kaiyi’s room, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry: “… Then will you still leave with me?”

“Wei He?” Qin Kaiyi’s eyes suddenly lit up when he saw Wei He, but he quickly recovered his dim gaze: “What are you doing coming here? You aren’t afraid of Shen Feixiao?”

“…Ah, I’m not afraid of that. You should know that the basic skills of our Hehuan Sect are very solid.” Wei He was particularly confident in his stealth skills. “… What’s wrong with your hair?”

“…” Qin Kaiyi lifted his eyelids and glanced at his own white hair, then said lazily: “Ate too many vegetables.”

“…?” The corners of Wei He’s mouth twitched. 

“Yan Gu didn’t tell you that I’ve been given the Feng Shen?” Qin Kaiyi felt abnormally irritable when talking to people. He hit open the hand holding his quilt: “You go, I won’t follow you.”

“Why?” Wei He thought that the feeling Qin Kaiyi gave off was particularly strange: “What in the world is wrong with you?”

“I won’t leave.” Qin Kaiyi didn’t answer Wei He’s question. He felt that his chest was locked in the bite of large jaws, and he couldn’t breathe: “If I leave won’t I have to come back.”

“…Qin Shi? Are you actually?” Wei He looked at Qin Kaiyi with eyes full of confusion. 

“Leave with your fucking Qin Shi, who the fuck is called Qin Shi!!! I’m not Qin Shi!!!” It wasn’t clear what nerve Wei He had touched, but Qin Kaiyi crazily rushed up from the bed and wanted to beat Wei He. However, his power had been sealed, and Wei He easily blocked him and grabbed his two hands. 

“I’m not Qin Shi, who is Qin Shi… Who is Qin Shi… I’m not Qin Shi…” Qin Kaiyi bit Wei He’s shoulder, expression malevolent to the extreme. 

“Fine fine, good boy, you are not Qin Shi.” (T/N: translated 乖 as “good boy,” it literally means “obedient.” Generally used as a term of affection and comfort for children). Although Wei He had been bitten by Qin Kaiyi, he no longer held that skeptical attitude he had just had towards Qin Kaiyi. As he stroked Qin Kaiyi’s back trying to calm him down, he comforted him with words: “Don’t be afraid, I will take you away…”

“Shit, shit.” As if he had completely collapsed, Qin Kaiyi cried tears which slid along his cheeks and fell on Wei He’s shoulders. Qin Kaiyi opened his mouth, sobbing and crying: “What should I do… Wei He… what should I do…”

Shen Feixiao… what on earth did he do to you? Wei He looked at Qin Kaiyi’s despairing appearance, and felt discomfort in his heart. He knew that Shen Feixiao had an obsession with Qin Kaiyi, but he didn’t know how deeply this obsession had hurt Qin Kaiyi. 

“…I want to go home, I really want to go home.” Murmuring, Qin Kaiyi closed his eyes and slept, leaving Wei He alone with a suffering expression. 

“I say, it couldn’t be that Shen Feixiao really didn’t give you meat ba.” He turned and glanced at the wound on his shoulder that almost showed bone. Wei He sucked in a breath and said: “… Actually biting so viciously, I say Shen Feixiao, what on earth did you do to your shixiong?” 

“It’s none of your concern.” Shen Feixiao’s voice came from outside the door: “It seems that you are very confident in yourself?”

“Wu, just enough.” Wei He didn’t know what expression to make aside from a bitter smile. Qin Kaiyi made such obvious movements; no matter how good his stealth was he would be discovered by Shen Feixiao. 

“Then you are looking for death.” Shen Fei’s voice was incredibly cold. 

“Actually, you should thank me.” Wei He said as if it was obvious: “If it were not for me, Qin Shi wouldn’t be able to cry.”

“I should thank you?” Shen Feixiao sneered: “Thank you for helping me to comfort him?”

“No need to thank.” Wei He’s face was really thick.

“…” Shen Feixiao was speechless.

“I say, you can’t do this ah, with one look I can tell you haven’t embraced a girl.” As a flower thief, Comrade Wei He wanted to express that he hated force without skill the most: “In love, isn’t mutual consent important? I see Qin Shi’s stupid clumsy self doesn’t seem that hard to chase… How did you make trouble to this extent?”

…Because the EQ is too low? Shen Feixiao stood outside the door and didn’t speak. 

“How about this. You let me take Qin Shi away and then come to see him again after a while… I promise that he will be normal at that time.” Wei He decided to make use of the situation and logic to deal with Shen Feixiao: “What do you think?”

“Let you take him away?” Shen Feixiao’s tone was very calm.

“Yeah.” Wei He blinked.

“Dream on.” Shen Feixiao’s tone was full of derision: “Would I give shixiong to a flower thief who covets him? Only if I die!!!”

“… Kids these days are too violent.” Wei He glanced at the still fainted Qin Kaiyi, and helplessly said: “It’s not that I won’t help you… the enemy is too savage…”

Just after Wei He said this, Shen Feixiao entered through the door. His face held a twisted smile, and he said to Wei He: “What do you think? If I killed you in front of shixiong, would he be willing to exchange a few more words with me?”

“…” Wei He wanted to express that he suddenly felt very pressured. 

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22 thoughts on “ASV Chapter 81

  1. Im surprised that the author decided to use depression as a part of the plot. Like, who wouldn’t have depression in that situation? Im liking how this novel is going. Thanks for the translation!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I binged this in 2 nights. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us.. Hoping and prayiny that you are still translating this and degenerate slave.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I absolutely love this and your translation. I was crying the last chapters..man I hate and love this at the same time. I really hope you continue translating this because your translation and you – are awesome. I really want to see more of this. Pls dont abandon us 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you so much for translating this! This book has dine the yandere and obsession and the love/hate complexity very well! Usually the novels i have read have them fall in love after staying together for a month or two or fater having done it twice claiming that they already like them from the beginning but hadn’t realized their gayness yet. But i like how here that aspect is written more realistically, even if the mc hasn’t had any obvious character development or change from pure straight to maybe accepting that he is gay, the way the situation has developed was written with realistic and understandable progress and no violence/non-con/force was glossed over. I also like that the ml didn’t become yandere out of nowhere and his thoughts and progression was clearly shown and was totally natural and believable! This is such a nicely done tradegy/yandere story! I also like how mc’s goal of going back didn’t suddenly change cause he suddenly fell for the ml or cause he ‘remembered’ that his situation and family back there isn’t actually that good or something like like! Thanks again for translating this! Hope you have a wonderful day! ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. this is so fucked up, qky mental health is falling. I just want him to go home and forget about everything ☹️☹️ their relationship is do unhealthy ☹️☹️

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Please translate the next few chapters as soon as possible… I really want to finish it and I would be really grateful if you translate it… Thanks a lot 🙏🙏🙏

    Like

  7. Thank you so much for translating this novel! It honestly feels like a psychological horror at this point and I love it. I wanna see our mc escape and live a good life but ml is too thorough for that

    Liked by 1 person

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